My dearest son Bibi

Mummy misses you so much...

You left your body for now but I know you will become a human in your next life because you have been a very good boy..

One day we will meet again.. for now, go rest and play..

Je t'aime mon amour.. You will always be remembered as one of the Leong family members..

Mummy

Rain

Its been raining so much over here in hong kong for the past few weeks.
I dont know if this is a raining period or is it just bad weather. Everything seems to be dull.. very dull indeed.. however..

I remember it was 3 weeks ago, i went to have coffee with my best friend whom i call sis at cwb. We spent a few hours outdoor having coffee. It was a sunny afternoon and getting indoor was the last thing i wished. i just love being outside.. being under the sun, feeling the heat tapping on my skin.. it was the best afternoon before the rain started to come that night.

Later that night after dinner, as i got off the mtr to walk to the minibus stop, it started raining.. The sweetest thing which happened was.. i got on the mini bus, sat down, looked into my bag, couldnt find any tissue.. suddenly a random pack of tissue appeared in front of me. I looked on my left side, at this stranger with a smile handling the pack of tissue to me.. I smiled back, took a tissue and thanked him..

Its really sweet.. lil things like this worth a lot to me, it made my day, thank you tissue man :)

Sold out

Its sunday.
I took my time to get ready then went for a very late lunch, around 4pm.
I balladed to HMV then saw the decorations everywhere outside HMV. I walked in and saw the whole collection of his cds and dvds. It was dedicated to him.
I tried to look at the 2 latest ones which have been advertised on tv recently, surprisingly, one was missing.
I walked around then asked the lady at the counter. She told me its sold out.

Sold out. Gor Gor, if you can see us from heaven.. would you be proud of yourself? your latest rearranged cd is sold out. other singers have to fight in order to get their new music produced nowadays. but you, just a rearrangement of your old songs is already enough to top the chart.

My easy sunday suddenly turned into a stressed out one. I left HMV with a surprised answer then headed off to a cd shop i usually get my vcds from. As i walked towards it, i already hear Gor Gor's songs from very far. People standing there, from different age.. from a teenage, who is chewing his gum with a oversized cap barely stuck to his head, to an old grandpa who is starring at the screen with the least expression on his face. They were starring at a plasma screen at the front of the cd shop. It was facing outside and it was showing all the scenes when Gor Gor got his awards. There were lots of name calling of Gor Gor and "applaudissement".

I walked through these people and went straight to the back of the store, i looked for the cd and found it. and when i held it in my hand, i heard someone crying near me. I didnt dare to look at that person, but as i listened, she was crying slowly and silently, you know she was trying to hold back her tears. After founding what i wanted, i took a look at her. I realised she works there as she has a name tag. Besides that, she was holding Gor Gor's album in her hands. She barely helped anyone in the shop, she was in her own world, she was holding Gor Gor in her hands, she was listening to his voice from the tv at the front of the shop. As i paid the cds and walked out of the shop, i took a glance at her every now and then. I realised each time the tv mentionned Gor Gor's name, she cried stronger. then she tries to take all back in.. but Gor Gor's name was endlessly being mentionned throughout the 10min i was there.. i guess that dvd was being played the whole day and she cried the whole day.

Standing outside the shop as I left, i stood there for 5min, i looked at the screen then looked back to the girl in the shop from far, she was still crying. My tears started to fall, i left.

Its been 6 years..
Feelings no longer fade as time goes by but instead,
Sorrow grows as time goes by..

We miss you.

有心人

寂寞也揮發著餘香　原來情動正是這樣
曾忘掉這種遐想　這麼超乎我想像
但願我可以沒成長　完全憑直覺覓對象
模糊地迷戀你一場　就當風雨下潮漲

如果真的太好　如錯看了都好　不想證實有沒有過傾慕
是無力　但有心　像謎　像戲　誰又會　似我演的更好
從眉梢中感覺到　從眼角看不到　彷彿已是最直接的裸露
是無力　但有心　暗來　明往　誰說　這算是　情愫

但願我可以沒成長　完全憑直覺覓對象
模糊地迷戀你一場　就當風雨下潮漲

如果真的太好　如錯看了都好　不想證實有沒有過傾慕
是無力　但有心　像謎　像戲　誰又會　似我演的更好
從眉梢中感覺到　從眼角看不到　彷彿已是最直接的裸露
是無力　但有心　暗來　明往　誰說　這算是　情愫
從眉梢中感覺到　從眼角看不到　彷彿已是最直接的裸露
是無力　或有心　像謎　像戲　誰說　這算是　情愫

My dream came true.

Woke up at 7.
Left home at 8. Excitement has begun.
The journey was so long. Got there around 12:30. Lr 9 & 4.
Once in there, it took me an hour to get through everything. There were so many people waiting.

Around 13:30, i was sitting there, table 4. Hands on knee, waiting.. very nervous.
There were so many doors, I looked around, I didnt know which one he was gonna come through.

Kids were running around. It felt so warm. But my legs were numb, I was getting extremely nervous. I didnt know what are the first words to say when i see him.

10 minutes later, the front door opened, Uncle walked in. He waved at me with his big smile. He made a big turn and walked towards me. I gave him a big hug.

We sat down and he said: "I'm so happy to see you"

We chat, I cried, I laughed. I went to buy soft drink for Uncle, but they didnt accept my 2$ coins. The lady next to me kindly exchanged her 1$ coins with me, I bought Uncle a Pepsi.

I listened to Uncle for 1 hour, time went pass so fast. I needed more. I had my eyes looking straight into his eyes for the whole hour. I did not look anywhere else but him. Time was running so fast, every second was so precious to me.

Uncle still look the same, still so handsome. He made so many funny jokes. I've never been so happy seeing someone. Uncle said he can make the best Cake Mix now. Uncle is also buddhist, he told me i shall learn meditation. It's good for us.

The smile that i dreamt to see again in my life.. I saw it today, my dream came true.

I gave Uncle a big hug and left, he kept looking at me and waved until i turned my back on him.

I'll miss you a lot Uncle.

Thank you Miguel for driving me 6 hours today. Its the best gift i can ever wished for. Today meant so much to me.

11pm, friday night, Im so nervous.
Went to Target.. then Myers this afternoon. Finally bought a white singlet and 3 pairs of white socks.
I cant wait till tomorrow, Im really nervous and excited =)

Happiest day ever

Today has to be the happiest day.

=)

Uncle, let me be there..

Wherever you go
Wherever you may wander in your life
Surely you know
I always wanna be there
Holding you hand
And standing by to catch you when you fall
Seeing you through
In everything you do

Let me be there in your morning
Let me be there in your night
Let me change whatever's wrong and make it right
Let me take you through that wonderland
That only two can share
All I ask you is let me be there

Watching you grow
And going through the changes in your life
That's how I know
I always wanna be there
Whenever you feel you need a friend to lean on, here I am
Whenever you call, you know I'll be there

Let me be there in your morning
Let me be there in your night
Let me change whatever's wrong and make it right
Let me take you through that wonderland
That only two can share
All I ask you is let me be there

Uncle, let me be there..

I'll always remember you

For the past few days, i've been thinking about Uncle..

I used to go to Uncle's place nearly every weekend back in my boarding school years. Uncle is a very nice man who helped me unconditionally.

Whenever i want to come out from boarding, Uncle would help me contact school and come pick me up on friday afternoons.

Whenever i talk to Uncle about my silly puppy love problems, Uncle would give me useful advices.

Whenever i ask Uncle to find the latest limited edition nokia mobile, Uncle would go through here and there to get it for me.

Whenever Uncle and his family got birthday celebrations, Uncle would wait till i can come out from boarding to celebrate with me.

Whenever i got any problems and say "Uncle".. Uncle would say "Yes Melody" and give me the biggest smile. I still remember Uncle's smile so well..

Uncle took us to uni to enrol for my first semester.

If only i could turn back time and spend more time with you..

Thank you Uncle.. I miss you so much, i really do.. I wish i can say it to you face to face..

Uni.. the stress is gone but the love is there..

Went to uni today to meet up with a good friend.. I cannot describe how much im missing this place.. The familiar faces, the grass i walked on from the bus stop to the campus, the queues for coffee, the architecture of the old EET, the ugly lift which is slower than taking the stairs, the forever jammed printer at G16..

I dont know if you agree with me or not but, sometimes things are not necessarily better when they are new or known as the best in world. To me, flaws can characterize the distinctive quality of a matter..

Searching..

Reminiscence~ i woke up this morning then went through old folders to find some stuff.. accidently found a long letter from an old friend -4 pages of A4 size paper- gosh its from year 2000. Reading this letter brought back lots of memories. I just found out how insensitive i was towards this person.. who needed help and care.

Spent the whole day chatting with Lara from vodafone, X from sydney water, Y from 3G.. why do they always use female voices only?

Found this really funny story in one of the FW email which i seldom check http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=665847. This story reminds me of drawing a pig on the comp examination paper at uni back in year 1. haha

Isaac told me a good news last night. He found a seed to download "Melody (SWALK)". He said he will burn one for me. We both have been searching for it everywhere in HK. Sold out everywhere.. except HMV at central where they have the japanese version of it. I still wanna find the original english version..

SWALK : sealed with a loving kiss~

Back to Sydney

I went on the plane with a mixed feeling.. im scared..

Its funny how each time i leave my parents, i cry, no matter how long im going away for.. a week, a month or a year.

I went into one of the magazine shops in the terminal, while choosing my magazine in my little french corner -Glamour (French edition of course)- this tall man was standing next to me and asked "how many hours are you flying?"
I said "9"
He goes "that can last you 9 hours easy"
I laughed and looked at the magazine he was holding and said "can that last you 12?"
Obviously he was flying to France, Paris of course.
We chatted for a while, we laughed.. then we said bye.
I love being at the airport, its always so fascinating to meet different people with different interesting culture, background, experiences.. life stories.

I sat at 38G, next to the aisle. The taiwanese lady next to me slept from beginning till end, i envy her ability to sleep in an upright position, the 2 guys on the other side of the aisle chatted non stop -young uni students showing each other their uni timetable.
And I, was vomitting. I havent had plane sick since i was 5 or 6. Wow, here comes my childish side again. I vomitted, people turned their back on me coz they found it disgusting, i looked around, i cried. I always cry when im sick alone. I wasnt looking for a hug at that mo, but at least someone to ask me "are you ok?"
After a bit of crying, i handed my "artwork" to one of the ugly steward. He looked at the bag and took a big step back and said "vomit?"
I wasnt expecting for that reaction, i thought this kind of thing is what they see everyday at work. Anyway he took my "artwork" away with a not so pleasant smile.

"Australia" and "A night in Rodanthe" were screening. They are both my favorites. "A night in Rodanthe" is considered as "The Notebook of 2008" as I saw on the cover of the DVD at Coles few hours ago. A highly recommended movie.

At supper, I forced myself to eat that overwarmed bread which is as hard as a rock as it cooled down. Then had a bit of pasta, did not touch the chicken salad, took a bite of the base of the cake (the top was orange mousse, im not a great fan of mousse).
Breakfast was horrible. A cold muffin and a cold pastry. The pastry is like a frozen apple pie or croissant. Me being a big fan of croissant (i usually devour 1 every morning) resisted to eat that. I carefully picked the only watermelon piece from the fruit salad bowl without touching the dragonfruit, took me ages to do so coz the tiny lil seeds of that dragonfruit were non stop trying to stick to my "pasteque". Then i left the dessert on the tray -a made in indonesia Tim Tam. Do not get me wrong, it has nothing to do with Indonesia. Its just, Tim Tam to me, is wrong when its made in any other countries than Oz. The taste is different. Im a big fan of my country, nothing beats us.
The odd thing is.. when the flight attendant moved my tray away, she took the Tim Tam out of the tray then put it back on my table. Wow someone cared that i didnt have my "dessert"?

A few strong turbulences happened before we landed. I held my buddha bracelet strong and prayed.

I got off the flight quickly and out of the customs in half an hour. Its the first time they did not check on me, usually it takes me ages, even up to 2 hrs.
A friend came to pick me up and helped me to check my unit. Thanks Adam.
I washed my face and went to coles. Im crazy about coles. I can spend hours there. 1 hr on av. Picked up my bread (i cant live without bread), cheese, tomato, avocado, shaved virginian ham, grapes, bananas.. but i forgot my baby rocket salad!
Passed by the bread shop, got my Finger Bun -finger buns make me happy =)

Came home, watched a bit of my Moses Chan coffee show then took a long overdue nap...

Thanks to Ange~

I've never thought about writing a blog until i read Ange's.
To darling Ange: thank you~
Sometimes its hard to talk to people about your feelings.. you dont know if they want to listen to it or not, you dont know how they interprete your words after hearing you, your frustration from telling them things which affect you a lot might seem to be a dust to them.. so I guess writing it down here will be the easiest way to share with friends about my updates without asking for attention.

I've proudly accomplished my engineering degree. Yes, it took me a long time. People out there make fun of me coz it took me so long, but i dont care.. no one on earth would understand what i went through for the past few years.

Throughout my downs, i realised 2 people who really supported me. My mother and my sister. Everybody who knows me know that the most important person in my world is my mother. I cant reali find any other words to describe her besides "best mum". I see myself as mum's little guardian angel, I was born to protect her. I'll do anything to make her happy. My sister, she endlessly showed me "love and support". Because of our childhood, our common goal in life is to search for a better future, a warm family.. I see she has successfully found her happiness, she has attained her dream; a beautiful daughter and a loving husband. Im tremendously happy for her. She deserves the best thing in life.